life of a nomad

all play.no work

2009-03-13T18:54:00.005-05:00

The past 6 days have been a blur- little sleep, and lots of fun!!

Jeff came to visit and we took advantage of every minute! First, we pranced around Austin for a couple days, spending time with my cousins and walking around all the quirky streets.

Being the planner that I am, I had compiled a bunch of activities to do in Waco.. most of which didn't work out. I love having opportunities to grow.. especially when it comes to my plans being broken. I used to be controlled by disappointment and God has really shown me ways to take joy in the unknown and embrace the moment.

The time in Waco was purely awesome. Full of tennis, bike rides, Phase 10, Rummikub, a puzzle, cooking, baking, exploring, dog walking, and eating.

After months of talking on the phone, the "face time" was much-needed and special. It was neat to experience life with Jeff as we shared laughter while learning more about each other.

I'm amazed at how God gives second chances and chooses to unexpectedly shower blessings!

Now it's back to reality... a paper to be written. a book to be read.

ohh but what fun it was!

more pictures of all the adventures: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2233306&id=9204387&l=d561d

likable math

2009-03-04T10:49:00.003-06:00

2 midterms + 2 days = week-long break for spring & Jeffrey coming to visit

lovely days are ahead!

plain excited

2009-02-26T21:00:00.005-06:00

OK so I admit it, I'm completely one of those crazy kids who needs positive reinforcement. I wish it wasn't true, but having things to look forward to seriously motivates me.

The beginning of the semester was a little rough with my 2 best friends gone and graduated and moving far away from Waco. Fortunately, this week one of them is returning to me!!

My dear friend Katie is flying to Texas tomorrow after sitting for the horrendous CPA exam.

I'm so looking forward to drinking coffee with this precious girl and talking about life's little eccentricities. Amidst the uncertainties, it is so good to sit with a friend who simply knows you.

I've named friends like Katie "lifers" because they are the people I want to travel, learn, and grow with for the remainder of our time here on earth. They are the strong, brave and humble who I admire, aspire with, and who God has let me know as a special blessing.

I just cannot wait to hug this girl!!

"to do" Sunday

2009-02-22T14:30:00.004-06:00

My to-do list for today before I reconsidered my priorities:

watch All the President's Men and write a review referring to the journalistic elements presented.
study 6 short stories in Spanish along with the subjunctive verb tense.
read Dickens Bleak House by Wednesday.
rest.
pray.

Definitely reversing this order right now!

Antioch had an awesome sermon this morning about how to impact the world for Jesus. Jimmy, the pastor, did a great job of empowering us to live fully using our gifts to go out into the community and minister for God's glory. Just think of the movement that could occur if believers embraced their work places and homes as their mission field! It makes so much sense to engage in work with that perspective. I've been thinking of all of the people, parents, and especially the kids that I work with everyday. God has blessed me with the opportunity to instill value in each child I meet, that they might know that they were created by God and deeply loved by Him. I miss so many of those opportunities.. thankfully my Father gives plenty of chances to tell others about Him!

I'm excited to start volunteering as a tutor this week. Until graduation, I'll be going to a low-performing elementary school in the heart of Waco for 4 hours a week to help 2 teachers with reading stations. Ironically, one of the classrooms that needs help is a bilingual 1st grade class and I'll be teaching Spanish. To Mexican children. Yes, I the gringo, who is struggling in my last semester of Baylor's Spanish will be teaching reading and writing.. in Spanish. I love the Lord's sense of humor! Fun stories are destined to develop from this experience!

Have a lovely week!

my dusty life

2009-02-22T14:22:00.003-06:00

views of my beautifully chaotic, mismatched and DUSTY life (well, my bedroom)

thoughts that keep you up at night

2009-02-19T00:37:00.003-06:00

This lovely Wednesday evening roomie and I headed for the good ol' $1 theater in Waco to relax in front of cheap entertainment.
We chose Seven Pounds with Will Smith.. because it had him in it of course.
Wow.
I haven't cried so hard in... um... I can't even think of a time!
If you haven't seen it, I think you should.

It made me think of the value of life. And opportunities to live remarkably.

I have been thinking about organs for the past hour and how precious it is to be able to donate the gift of life.

This is why it is 1a.m. and I can't fall asleep.

help wanted?

2009-02-18T11:03:00.002-06:00

May 2009 marks the date of several events- graduation, moving across the nation, and resettling into my parent's home in Escondido, CA.

This transition holds the promise of many exciting new life ventures, but also the practical fear of the unknown.

Basically, I really need a job. I'm graduating with a BA in English with a Religious studies minor. I have training working at restaurants, stores, and offices, with youth and children programs (both public and private organizations), overseas experience, as well as recent experience working with publications and reporting for mass media.

Since I am graduating at a time of economic instability, I am prepared to face the reality that the ideal job will not appear at my doorstep.

Does anyone know of anyone who is hiring in the San Diego area around May 09, or even this summer? I'm looking for a full-time position with health benefits.

I'm pretty much willing to do anything and work really hard.

Please let me know if you hear of anything!! THANK YOU!

St. Valentine

2009-02-14T21:21:00.002-06:00

I've never really been excited about Valentine's Day. At least not since elementary school when everyone handed out those precious cartoon love notes in class. Those were fun.

But, today was a great day!

i miss my family

2009-01-27T12:13:00.003-06:00

simple peace

2009-01-25T21:30:00.002-06:00

A month of neglect, and this page looks so foreign to me.
I suppose the only way to breech the awkward break is to simply write.

Life in Texas forges on a hint sweeter than before, probably because I know that my time here is drawing to a close. The comfortable walk to and around campus feels shorter this semester, the weather cooler, the local places sadly more familiar. Baylor has been a surprising place of transformation and growth, and therefore a priceless experience (although it did come at a hefty price!).

In conversation with Jesus, I am relearning the power of prayer. I can see how God takes the base and ugly within me to produce something of value with His breath of life. He asks me to surrender everything, to relinquish all control. I have to loosen my grasp every morning. Today I feel His transcending peace wash over my anxious soul. And I now am beginning to understand His gift of peace, which surpasses all comprehension, to guard hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (var. Phil. 4:7).

be still my soul

2008-12-27T23:42:00.002-06:00

Be still and know that I am God.. Pslam 46:10

I'm awful at this. I always want to go.. and do.. and go some more. I'm a planner. An organizer.

Lord, why can't I just rest in your presence?!

I'm in Palm Springs with my family for a few days, and as silly as it sounds, I would almost rather be home! Besides looking forward to numerous tennis matches with my dad and brother, I am dreading all of the down time. I want this little vacation to be a beneficial time of solitude, focused on waiting on the Lord for direction.

Holidays have a funny way of illuminating one's singleness, and it bothers me to be discontent over something like that. There are many places in my heart that I thought I had given up to God to let Him fill- only to realize that I held onto those desires more fiercely and quietly than before.

Will the day of rest and contentment ever come? Why won't I let myself be satisfied in Jesus alone?

the happiest holidays

2008-12-26T13:01:00.004-06:00

This Christmas has been particularly special because a missionary friend, who I met in Thailand, was able to spend the holidays with my family. In one week, I've dragged Leinie around San Diego trying to accomplish all of the things she's never done before! So far, we've played in the snow in Julian, gone ice skating at Horton Plaza, been to Coronado, explored tide pools in La Jolla, visited with family friends every night, and played every game in my house! Now I am just being still. Waiting on the Lord. And the quiet feels so good!

tomorrow

2008-12-16T17:38:00.002-06:00

i will be in california.

so studious

2008-12-10T23:58:00.004-06:00

Huck studying for finals with me. Love.

"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day." Alexander Woollcott

2008-12-09T11:48:00.004-06:00

As of yesterday at 2pm, class is officially over for the year!
5 finals and then I'm flying back to my family.

This morning, my roommate was encouraged to pursue her walk with Christ from a UPS guy. He even prayed with her before she left the store. How can I love so intentionally like that guy?
Then, I found out that he goes to my church and belongs to the life group that I "didn't have time for" this semester. Man, I really have skewed priorities sometimes.

Tonight I am attending a Christmas performance at my church and I am praying about who to invite. Who do I know that specifically needs to hear from God tonight? I'm nervous about what God will tell me tonight.

Huck and I have been running around the Baylor neighborhood in the evenings to let out some of his exuberant energy and some of my stress. When I'm not yelling at him to keep up or slow down, its been a great time of worship and prayer. Last night I caught myself singing out loud because I believe that no one can hear me if I have ear buds in. Huck probably thinks I'm just a crazy old lady who talks to herself all day!

Now, finishing my third cup of coffee, I'm officially studying for finals...

truth

2008-12-04T13:04:00.003-06:00

YOU created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise YOU because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

YOUR works are wonderful...!

Pslam 139:13-14

Sometimes it is easy to forget that God loves me and delights in me. I forget that even when I reject Him, He gently teaches me His consistency. When I tear things apart, He mends them together. In all my brokenness and rejection, He thinks I am beautiful. Because He made me to be in communion with Him, my heart is not complete without His love; and without His power, I can do nothing. Thank you Lord for treasuring me as Your beautiful work!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..

2008-12-04T12:07:00.006-06:00

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

I love the smells. I love the cold. I love the annoyingly overplayed music. I love, and think its funny, how everyone who doesn't even know Jesus sings about Him. I love warm clothes. I love giving. I love the food. I love the decorations. I love the lights. I love the fact that people bring trees inside and decorate them (brilliant idea that people should do year round because I love trees!).

I love that families come together and actually spend time with one another. I love trying to make creative and crafty presents even though they never turn out. I love special traditions, even if they are not my own. I love the idea of a jolly man who spends all his time eating cookies and giving things to people. I love ice skating (even in CA). I love walking around the malls even if I don't buy anything.

I love that everyone smiles and says "Merry Christmas" to people they don't know. I love tacky Christmas pajamas. I love the mint M&Ms. I love stocking stuffers. I love the stories behind ornaments. I love seeing friends I haven't seen in years. I love carolling even though I'm not very good at singing. I love the cards with their yearly updates and photos. I love the movies (even the tacky ones).

I just LOVE Christmas. Thank you Jesus for being born, and thank you early Christians for deciding to celebrate the blessed event in winter and to incorporate other crazy pagan traditions!!!

(Photographs courtesy of We Heart It)

laugh a little

2008-12-01T08:00:00.001-06:00

This is a video I took on my little digital camera of my cousin Joe and his little friend a couple years ago that never fails to make me laugh! They are totally serious and didn't rehearse or anything! Just watch Joe in the red and you are bound to crack a smile!

yes, I'm obsessed

2008-11-30T17:18:00.002-06:00

procrastination..

2008-11-30T15:54:00.002-06:00

.. is a phenomenal way to not only publish a few blog entries, but also a chance to sit down and think about all of the things you would RATHER be doing than what you are supposed to do.
For example, instead of writing 2 research papers, working on a presentation, and reading, I began working on a monthly budget for when I graduate. Lately, I've been really burdened with the desire to pay off my students loans as quickly as possible. Their ominous and completely impossible nature has been the source of stress as I wrestle in prayer about my financial future. At a recent luncheon, a close friend encouraged me with a story of a woman in our church who had a larger loan burden than myself, who, after a short year or two of living simply with complete dependence on God, witnessed her debts disappear! Praises!
I realize that if I am to truly be debt-free after a few years, I will have to throw myself into full trust that the Lord will provide for every need. Of course this kind of dependence is necessary as a follower of Jesus, but easy to avoid. Since childhood, I have struggled for independence, and made every decision to walk my own path, however rough or straight at the time. As much as possible, I strive to be self-supporting and cringe at the fact that money is such a necessary evil.
There is a fire inside blazing to constantly experience newness and become the brave adventurer traveling around the world. There are small aspirations and hopes about moving some place exciting after Baylor and jumping into a career. Maybe moving to Austin or San Francisco, or even Chicago- places which have intrigued me since I was young.
And equally present is the bold truth that I am tied down to a debt that cannot be ignored and must be paid. There is my home in San Diego with my loving family who promises to support me and encourage me towards a life free of student loans. I think there would be great joy at moving home besides the financial help. I would be able to spend more time with my mother, who has become my absolute best friend and confidante. I would be closer to the ocean which I love so dearly. I would be able to participate in my little brother's senior year of high school by attending his basketball games, taking pictures of him before homecoming, and just hanging out. These are just a few of many reasons why moving home would be amazing.
But can I ignore the fears? Of getting 'stuck in a rut,' not finding a job using my degree, lacking a solid community of friends who really love and follow Jesus, not meeting anyone to date besides the crazies I went to high school with (silly, but it's a concern!)..
Lies from Satan can be so believable sometimes.
I want to honor God with my life, and I know this decision will play such an important role in the whole direction of my future.
Officially, publicly, and fearfully, I am dedicating the following months to praying for this decision. No matter where I am, I know I am safe in God's hands working within His will, and will remain steadfast in His love. So, I suppose location doesn't really matter. I just want to know already! ahh faith....

currently loving

2008-11-30T13:15:00.003-06:00

40 degree weather

playing tag with my dog

3. APPLE CINNAMON Glade candle

instrumental Christmas music

5. Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant movies

6. scarves

white lights

pumpkin anything

9. reading Hebrews

10. dreaming about coming HOME in 2 1/2 weeks!!!

Texas Turkey Day

2008-11-30T10:32:00.004-06:00

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. Oh Lord my God,

I will give you thanks forever!

Psalm 30:11-12

Even though I haven't spent a Thanksgiving at home in San Diego in 5 years, each Thanksgiving has been special in its own way. This year, my sister and I traveled to the capitol, Austin to feast poolside with our "cousins" (2nd cousins twice removed!) before driving up to Dallas for a few days to visit a good friend's mother. How neat that even in Texas we can give thanks with family- relations or not!!

THE POOLSIDE FEAST

WITH MY COUSIN NICK

NICK, LOOKING SHARP (HE DRESSED HIMSELF!)COUSIN JOE'S CLOSE UP

JOE AND I TRYING TO BE SASSY

UNCLE JOHN CARVING THE TURKEY

COUSIN MAKENZIE (ZZ) WORKING OFF THE TURKEY

ZZ AND SISTER NATALIE

the sweetest faces

2008-11-20T17:34:00.004-06:00

These are the adorable faces of some of my kids at Mission Waco, an inner-city after school program. I work there a couple days a week and their crazy energy and loving hearts bring me joy.

-Carmischa (Mischa)-

-Corey-

-Griselda-

-Jose-

where I will be buried until Friday

2008-11-12T12:01:00.003-06:00

meet Huck!

2008-11-09T08:04:00.005-06:00

This week, a new addition was made to our apartment. After much debate, my roommate Jess and I decided to get a dog! (Well, technically, he's my roommates since my future location is unknown.. BUT he's basically both of ours until May).

Lucky for me, Jess is super busy with school projects and so Huck and I get to play all day together!!

Huckleberry Finn is a 9-month old retriever mix who is simply precious. Such a love bug, he cuddles and kisses like he has known us for years. He is completely potty trained and seriously doesn't bark. It's incredible.

Who would have thought the Waco Humane Society could harbor such a gem?

I can't wait till he gets his little stitches out so we can go exploring all around Waco! Adventures of Huckleberry and Jessica..

Meet my main squeeze:

Saturday night thought

2008-11-02T00:13:00.002-05:00

"So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?"

-Kathleen Kelly, Meg Ryan's character in You've Got Mail

made my day!

2008-10-30T13:05:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxlwYP0HNdc
you HAVE to watch this!!

read anything good lately?

2008-10-29T15:05:00.006-05:00

Starting Dec. 17th, I will have 3 weeks of leisure at home in San Diego.
3 whole weeks of not being graded on my performance and knowledge! I'm compiling a reading list- a mixture of reading ahead for my British novel class for the Spring '09 semester, as well as a few pleasurable escapes, along with a pinch of theological classics. Since my reading-for-fun books have been limited this semester due to a heavy class reading load, any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!
.Three Cups of Tea, Greg Mortenson & Henry Oliver Relin
.C.S. Lewis Classics Collection
.Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller
.Emma, Jane Austen
.Tess of the D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy

come and sit softly happiness

2008-10-29T10:05:00.001-05:00

things that make me SMILE

2008-10-28T23:15:00.003-05:00

coffee.
coffee with friends.
friends.
bicycles.
when my phone rings.
kartwheels.
grass.
the smell of outside.
acoustic.
books.
bookstores.
ART
gold picture frames.
thrift stores.
Psalms.
a clean room.
cooking something that tastes good.
large sunglasses.
happy animals.
hiking.
surprises.

flying

2008-10-28T22:18:00.004-05:00

"If you surrender to the air, you can ride it."

Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

I once flew amongst the treetops through a rainforest in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I long for a piece of those moments NOW.

distance doesn't matter

2008-10-28T21:56:00.005-05:00

a message from a Thai student that brought a smile to my face and a prayer to my lips:

Hi...Jussy
how are you?

now,i have a vacation and live in my home.

next week my school will start again.

it just a short vacation.

what are you doing?

I very miss you.

my Saturday night

2008-10-18T22:22:00.003-05:00

consisted of going to the grocery store at 10pm, looking up recipes online to cook for myself this week, and now trying to work on a paper. awesome..

"the journey"

2008-10-12T22:48:00.003-05:00

I’m surrounded by people and yet alone.
I carefully watch, observing everyone around.
Wanting to scream that “I am here!”

How many times will I be at this place
Of longing, desiring Jesus to fill me wholly?

In between two competing worlds
Too young, and too old.
Barely out of my reach, I am left here,
Alone again.

This is the place of healing that I know too well;
Now is the time for repair.

A silent Presence soothes my soul,
As I dare to place my trust in the One who knows me.

With each tear, He covers my brokenness.
With each loving gesture, He beckons me to continue with Him.

And so I walk on.

solving the energy crisis

2008-10-12T17:57:00.002-05:00

I love that I have owned my car for 6 weeks now, and filled my tank with gas for the first time TODAY!
YAY walking!

success unexpected in common hours

2008-10-06T21:04:00.003-05:00

A few words from my favorite transcendentalist. Always an encouragement when having an 'I don't know what I'm going to do with my life' crisis (like right now!). This passage never fails to comfort the part of me that is never content to just be and sit still in one place, and continues to inspire dreams, creativity and originality. (If only I could foster such elegant words instead of merely quoting them!)

I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one. It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route and make a beaten track for ourselves. I had not lived there a week before my feet wore a path from my door to the pond-side; and though it is five or six years since I trod it, it is still quite distinct. It is true, I fear that others may have fallen into it, and so helped to keep it open.
The surface of the earth is soft and impressible by the feet of men; and so with the paths which the mind travels. How worn and dusty, then, must be the highways of the world, how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity! I did not wish to take a cabin passage, but rather to go before the mast and on the deck of the world, for there I could best see the moonlight amid the mountains. I do not wish to go below now.
I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours… In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
Henry David Thoreau, Walden.

hey, I went to Vietnam!

2008-10-06T20:40:00.004-05:00

So, I forgot I went to Vietnam. And that I have a whole folder full of pictures. And that I slept out on the roof of a boat in the middle of Halong Bay. It was AMAZING!

Bicycles everywhere= gladness

color the world happy

heading out to sea

view from my cabin

HaLong Bay: a natural world heritage site. over 1,000 islands

fellow sailers

vietnamese 101

and the BEST part: kayaking through bat-filled caves, discovering small secluded pieces of heaven off the coast of Northern Vietnam.

a beautiful sentence

2008-10-05T19:57:00.002-05:00

The great spirit you so lightly invoked, the 'lord of terrible aspect,' is present: not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comfort of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist's love for his work and despotic as a man's love for a dog, provident and venerable as a father's love for a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as a love between the sexes.
C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain.

to be sinless

2008-10-01T20:57:00.009-05:00

He was sinless because he was the friend of sinners!
"This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them" (Luke 15:2).
Jesus' sinlessness was anything but obvious. The sign of it was not heroic moral purity but a life that called his purity into question. His friends and associates were not the good church people of this day. They were his enemies, not because he rejected them but because they rejected him. His friends were political revolutionaries (the Zealots), dishonest business people who were also traitors to their nation (the tax collectors), immoral women, social outcasts, and half-breeds... In this way he was for his fellow human beings as they really are- guilty, needing forgiveness, acceptance, and help. In this way he was obedient to God and fulfilled the task God had given him to do- not to minister to well people who do not need a doctor but to sick people who do; not to call the righteous but sinners (Matt. 9:12-13). His sinlessness was his willingness to be sent "in the likeness of sinful flesh" (Rom. 8:3-4) in order to overcome the broken relationship between God and humanity and between human beings themselves. It was the willingness of the one who "knew no sin" to be made sin for our sake (2 Cor. 5:21).
Jesus was sinless because, in perfect obedience to God and perfect love for his fellow human beings, he was willing to risk his good name and his "moral integrity" to be with and for undeserving, unworthy, sinful people.

Shirley Guthrie,
Christian Doctrine

-what I came across while doing homework this evening

ACL

2008-09-29T20:30:00.005-05:00

3 days. 8 stages. 130 bands.
http://www.aclfestival.com/

Set in a huge grassy park directly in the middle of the great capital Austin, TX, Austin City Limits proved to be as amazing as its following.

Although feeling slightly irresponsible for taking a 3-day break from life to just sit and enjoy music and atmosphere, I concur that it was worth it!

Favorite moments:

spending time with my friend Rachel, who recently moved to Austin after graduating Baylor.

Vitamin water after hours of direct sunlight and 90+ weather.

Sipping Pinot Grigio on a blanket during the evenings while rocking out or simply swaying.

Seeing hundreds of people in tie dye.

Watching people, in all shapes and sizes, in all clothes and nakedness, young and old, loving life like crazy!

Some bands that threw killer shows, [probably why they are all famous!]: Foo Fighters (of course), The Mars Volta, Beck, The Raconteurs, Manu Chao, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, Iron and Wine...

Some amazing new discoveries: Band of Horses (love them), Gillian Welch (made me want to learn how to play the banjo), Neko Case (awesome voice), Vampire Weekend, The Swell Season, Fleet Foxes...

God's will?

2008-09-17T20:24:00.002-05:00

Instead of diligently chipping away at my theology homework on Christian Doctrine, Shirley C. Guthrie's chapters on the "person" of God and why we exist, I cannot stop contemplating the ambiguity of God's will.
I've always heard and believed that one of the ways to know God's will is by the ominous "opening of doors." And, quite truthfully, I've followed most of the opened doors, assuming that they are God's will. If everything works out perfectly and it feels right, it is... right?
On Sunday, I was listening to a podcast of The Village church in Dallas where the speaker Beau Hughes began a series on Jonah. To my surprise and discomfort (the good kind), he revealed that there will always be "open doors" leading away from God and His plan. In fact, there will probably be several appealing options, pretty ornamented doors with signs that say OPEN ME on them. Pretty colored doors with gold handles. Doors that swing open noiselessly and easily. For Jonah, there was a boat going to Tarshish.
I can't help but wonder how many luxurious cruises I've taken to Tarshish, missing the one to Nineveh.
Thankfully, I haven't been swallowed by a great sea creature- yet.

"I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls" ~Henry David Thoreau

2008-09-14T12:13:00.004-05:00

Here are some pictures of my apartment!

my bedroom:

largest closet ever!:

"Mama," the new mode of transportation :)

and my new roomie, Jessica :)

New Address:

1800 S. 5th St. #3005,

Waco, TX 76706

what have I been doing?

2008-09-08T17:05:00.003-05:00

As life ushers in each new day, I find that I am swept right along with the unremitting current of classes and work. Thankful to regain a daily routine, I continue the battle of time management while struggling to decide how to divide my hours between classwork, regular work (for money), relationships, and rest. (A struggle most are quite familiar with, I am sure).
Since arriving back in Texas, there have been two major developments that I can think of. One, is that after much stress, tears, countless prayers and days spent on Craigslist, I was able to acquire a car. The teal Camry is now part of the Shapiro family and is still awaiting its official christening (a nickname). Another new venture is a job with Mission Waco working with their inner-city after school program. I'm looking forward to hanging out with the kids a couple times a week and helping them find their God-given strengths this semester in addition to working part-time in the Baylor pre-nursing office.
When I'm not in class or working, I am reading for class. Exploring Robert Browning's poetry, Eudora Welty and Toni Morrison's genius, early Christian theological arguments, and late 19th century American realist works have kept me busy most evenings. Not to mention the hours of re-learning the Spanish language/trying to differentiate Spanish from my limited knowledge of Thai and French!
Being here with my sister has been a neat change to the regular Baylor scene. I had the opportunity last night to practice my domestic skills in the kitchen by cooking for her and her new "friend" Chris. Over spaghetti dinners and walks around the bear trail, Natalie and I are becoming familiar with the adult versions of each other.
One of the largest blessings during these few weeks has been spending time with my roommate and close friends that were dearly missed this past year. The Lord has truly answered my heart's longing for fellowship and deep community.
Texas is the same as always- which is a reliable inconsistency! The weather is hot and humid, my walks to and from class are beautifully calming, and my favorite coffee pot produces the same wonderful aroma each morning.
Each new day brings with it new opportunities and friendships that contribute to the greater picture of God's plan for me here in Waco. This morning's time with Jesus revealed this precious reminder:
"And you, He made alive...For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:1, 10

delightful

2008-09-08T17:03:00.001-05:00

Because of a freak Texas rainstorm this afternoon, I walked home from class barefoot (approx. 1 mile). And it was wonderful!

such a bummer.

2008-08-06T11:53:00.001-05:00

i lost my camera. i can't find it anywhere. i feel like i lost a limb.

simplicity

2008-08-05T14:44:00.007-05:00

Sometimes I just want to sell everything I own and walk around the world giving hugs..

I know this is not practical, and may not solve anything and I'd probably wind up in jail somehow. (And I would look as ridiculous as Will Farrell in the movie Elf).

At the recommendation of a childhood friend, I am reading Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution.

I can't even sleep because I keep thinking about what God created me to do, how I can change the things that I don't like about the world, and how all of my passions and dreams can become a reality. {Also, learning what exactly my passions are!}

This morning's breakfast downtown with one of my favorite people lasted hours as we threw around ideas about how to improve the quality of life of the poverty-stricken, the hopeless, the discouraged.

A part of me is frustrated with just telling people that they need a Savior when they are physically starving to death and have no roof over their head.

I want to go somewhere. Simply live like Jesus did. Live Simply in deep community and fellowship. Loving God by loving people like crazy.

So now I want to sell everything I own and just move to Mexico or India or just plain DO SOMETHING that will help someone. BUT.. I have to go back to school. Back to Baylor, back to overwhelming materialism, back to homework, back to bills, back to reading books that I do not choose. I'm trying not to feel stuck, to be faithful to flourish where God has me.

The obvious question now is how do I best follow Jesus in Waco Texas at Baylor University?

I know it will be something God-sized.. (which could be very small, but powerful). I know that if I will actually stop and listen to the Spirit, there will be too many opportunities to love and help those who need it.

And I'm excited. And scared. And ready for something more.

reflections on the day

2008-07-27T23:57:00.003-05:00

It's past 10pm on Sunday night. Nearly everyone who loved and supported me this past year in Thailand came over this evening to celebrate God's goodness and His global movement.
How amazing to see so many faces of people I've known since childhood, families that have been praying for me since I was a baby.
With the help of several humble friends and my family, I think this afternoon/evening was incredible for me to witness. Just being able to look out on a gathering of those who genuinely pursue Jesus and desire to follow Him daily was an overwhelming blessing.
I feel so lucky to even know so many individuals who serve and give, living out their faith. I was asked today: what is one way that now looking back I could see God work?
One unexpected thing the Lord has shown me was the power of giving. He proved the story of the loaves and fish. He multiplies. He exceeds my expectations and my dreams. From the resources He entrusted to a few of His children in the US, He gave to a young girl with a vision, to who He then provided the opportunity to bless nationals around the world who sacrifice so much for the gospel. The power of giving.
I want giving and serving to be a compulsion, a necessity that will far exceed any job I will ever have or anything I decide to do with my future.
Thank you to those who continue to shower me with Christ's love, and to those new friends who are refreshingly encouraging. Even though the party is over, and I am officially moving on to the next phase, I look forward to spending more afternoons deepening relationships with good food and great fellowship as we all continue on this amazing journey!

oh, time

2008-07-17T11:28:00.003-05:00

Since I've been home, my largest adversary has been time.
Some days, there is hardly enough minutes to take care of needs, eat, and spend time with the people around me.
However, most days, I have too much time. Time to do anything. But, that's where I get stumped. Lately, I've been passing the ominous time by having extra-long morning devotions, going to the gym, cleaning up after people around the house, researching cars on Craigslist and bothering whichever sibling happens to be home at the moment.
When I have too much time, I tend to be less-productive, and less-eager to make plans. I don't quite understand it.
It is a little challenging to do much outside my home without regular use of a vehicle, and as I get older, there are fewer friends in the area to visit anyways.
This month, I think that God is teaching me how to just be. Just to rest in His presence and be content in all circumstances.
I know it is rare to have too much time these days, and I'm starting to view this month as a precious gift of time to connect with people, and be open to whatever the day unfolds.
It's really quite thrilling to think about the possibilities. Even if I am presently just sitting by myself on the couch with no plans for today!

back in the 760

2008-07-07T23:13:00.001-05:00

I've officially made my return to my "home, home" in the 760. With a warm welcome at the airport by family and best friend, (including embarassing signs, which I loved!!), my homecoming has been so fun and relaxing. I am excited to catch up with everyone here for the next month! Yay for home!

Kaew and Eve

2008-06-19T10:02:00.003-05:00

This week on campus is my last chance to spend quality time with my students. These girls have been an absolute delight to get to know, and they have become dear friends.

On Wednesday, we had a little camera fun:

KAEW (pronounced "Gow"): fun-loving, super cheerful, always positive, could easily fit into my pocket!

EVE: new sister in Christ, always available and anxious to hang out, future roommate in America (when she comes in 10 years!)

more pictures of Cayla's visit

2008-06-19T09:44:00.003-05:00

More evidence of our fun tiaw in Chiang Rai in the beginning of the month..

I'm almost home...

2008-06-19T02:29:00.002-05:00

This is my last week in Chiang Rai.
My last week. The finality of it is just now hitting me.
After nearly 11 months, I am going "home."

Home in itself has become ambiguous. Once leaving my hometown Escondido after high school graduation over 4 years ago, home became Waco, Texas. Upon returning to San Diego each year to visit family and friends, home evolved from a small rental house to 2 trailers on our property, since my parents sold my childhood home in order to build a dream house across town. Each year at Baylor, I moved apartments and traded roommates until deciding to come to Thailand.

Here in Thailand, home is a two-story store that we turned into a living space. Most of our downstairs walls are steel roll-up doors, all tile floors, the upstairs bathrooms produce water only at night, and our air conditioning is 4 fans scattered throughout. However different from any home I have ever lived in, this place too has become my home.

In just a couple weeks, I will be returning back to California. Back to my native home, back to my first language. To be honest, I am so excited and ready. There have been countless times this year when I would dream of going home. When I struggled to understand my teammates, grew tired of eating Thai food everyday, paid thousands of baht to get our crappy car fixed, and coudn't breach language barriers, I could not think of anything better than crying my eyes to my mom while curled up on our family room couch. Ironically, those hard times always happened at 2 or 3 pm here, when it was impossible to call my loved ones to receive comfort.

Those times of struggle were when I actually felt the distance of 8,000+ miles. I would like to think that during those times, it would be natural for me to rely on God, to open His Word, to completely rest in His presence. But, it's not. However, I had no choice but to go to the Father to meet my needs, give me perspective, and satisfy my longings for companionship. And truthfully, He really did. I won't pretend that it has gotten any easier, but when I think of all the opposition that Jesus faced, the loneliness He beared on the cross, and how He actually even conquered death itself, it makes me feel like the things I have experienced really aren't "that bad."

When I go home, I really hope I can take a parts of Thailand with me (not just my oversized suitcase of souveniers and decorations). But, I am serious about incorporating the parts of my Thai home into my American life. One of these is community meals. Thais do everything together, especially eat. Their mealtimes aren't just a time to fill one's stomach, but instead a sacred time of fellowship to share life with one another. I don't know what this would look like back in the States, especially in my small apartment in Waco, but I am going to seriously try. Maybe it will be regularly inviting people over for a meal instead of eating out, I'm not sure. I actually tried that out last year, but it became reality only once!

Of course, with all the joys of returning to the US, there are also many fears. One thing that I seem very good at is getting into transitional places. I'm not saying that I am good at transitions, but that I seem to be in them ALL THE TIME! Although I have made transitions to different states, homes, and cultures, I think this one may top them all.

In July I will fly to CA to spend a month there adjusting to the time change, seeing family, friends, and supporters, going to doctor and dentist appointments (it's been a year, remember!), and finding a new car amongst other things since I sold my old one before leaving last year. Because I have one more year left at Baylor, I will be taking off for Texas with my little sister Natalie (yay!) in the beginning of August. I am very excited to move into yet another new apartment with a sweet friend that I came to know before leaving for Thailand and attend new classes, which, this semester, are mainly literature discussions taught by my favorite professors.

With all of the newness though, I remember that because I chose to answer God's call to come to Thailand during what would be my senior year, all but 3 close friends graduated this past May. So, it will be a sad return in a way. Definitely more quiet, and I'm sure my free time will be greater than when I left.

Suffice it to say, this transition is looming over me, inescapable. I'm approaching it with anxiety, but I wish to view it as a manifold opportunity. I know it will be a great opportunity for God to bring new people into my life, to provide new ways I can serve Him in SD and in Waco, to learn new passions, and just to enjoy this gift of life.

As we have all heard, home, after all, is not a place, but a state of the heart and the people that surround you.

Special Reunion

2008-06-11T03:11:00.002-05:00

The older I am, the more I see how God so carefully and intricately connects people. Back in 1990, I was enrolled in a Kindergarten class at North Broadway Elementary School in Escondido, CA. Newness of school was accompanied with a new group of friends. Instantly attached to one such friend, I grew along side her as we ended up in the same class until 3rd grade. Although at different school from then on, our paths continued to cross as we remained in touch through church and family functions.

I would say "randomly," but I serve a God who is incredibly intentional, we both ended up as 2 people of a small minority of Californians who attended Baylor University in Waco, Texas in the fall of 2004. In a school of over 15,000, we rarely saw each other except through mutual friends.

However separated, both of us worked as summer staff in the junior high group at our home church 2 separate consecutive summers, and we both had a mutual friend and mentor, Tricia Dealy, who planned on moving to Thailand as a missionary.

This idea of moving to Thailand to work with Campus Crusade for Christ sounded a little crazy to me at first, but after talking to Cayla about it, I became more excited about the idea. Although it worked out that I came to Thailand with CCC and Cayla finished her education at Baylor, our lives continued to cross in amazing ways.

Just this past month, I received an email from Cayla saying that she accepted a job offer as an English teacher... in Bangkok, Thailand... and would be moving there at the end of May.

Coincidence? I think not!

So, clearing time out of her demanding teaching schedule, Cayla and her boyfriend Matt flew up to Chiang Rai this past weekend to visit my home. It was so refreshing spending time with them as we braved an elephant excursion in the rain and explored Night Bazaar in the rural Northern province.

I am just so amazed at how God brings His children together in a way that we could never arrange!

back in the saddle

2008-06-05T07:53:00.000-05:00

It's the only title I can think of because it has been a while since I had posted anything new. I know I want to say something important and meaningful. Since nothing comes to mind, maybe I will just simply relate recent happenings!
After a week in Bangkok and then another on Elephant Island, home in Chiang Rai has never been sweeter. Here are a few highlights of the trip:

The Children on Koh Chang are precious as ever. These kids have been learning worship songs and really opened up to me this time. It was so fun to practice my limited Thai vocabulary and even teach them some English words like "cloud" and "star" (nearly impossible for them to pronounce poor things!).
One day we hiked to the other side of the island where there were deserted white sandy beaches. The kids were hilarious as they tried to show off in front of the camera while playing in the water.

Our work team was in charge of eliminating a rock hill in the way of the bathrooms. With hoes and pick-axes we did major damage to the intruding hill as we cleared a path to the hong nam (bathroom). Everyone worked so hard, even the little bitty Thai girls!!

I stole this picture from Judy Christian (thanks Judy!) of the girls sleeping area. We basically turned the church into a dormitory decorated with mosquito nets and simple sleeping bags on the tile floor. Man oh man is a mattress an awesome thing to return home to!

All of the 15 students who accompanied us from Chiang Rai had a blast. Difficult even for them to adjust to the rough life style, they did not complain even once about the accomodations or bathrooms. In addition to their fabulous attitudes, they set a high work standard for us Americans to follow as they powered-through everyday with unceasing energy.

In conclusion: great trip. happy to return to my bed.
Here are more pictures of the journey:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2175619&l=f7748&id=9204387

Urban Backpacking

2008-05-21T10:58:00.000-05:00

5 minutes before we were supposed to leave for the airport Tuesday morning,Amanda shook me awake out of a deep sleep. With that start to the day, our arrival in Bangkok was met with little enthusiasm. Tab and I had a whole day ahead of us with a small number of necessary things to do. After applying for a visa to Vietnam, we decided to take a cab down the street to roam around one of Bangkok's greatest malls Central World Plaza. One thing we forgot to calculate in this plan was that we both were still carrying 2 weeks worth of luggage! Trying not to waste gas and time, we agreed to haul our things around until heading to the guest house. Toting my large "backpacker's" pack, a huge bag with my tennis shoes, flip flops and purse inside, as well as my laptop in its carrying case, I was a little weighted down! Similarly burdened, Tab and I looked absolutely ridiculous in this posh mall! So silly, in fact, that I had to take a picture :).

We even saw the movie Penelope, and the easy-going Thais let us bring in all of our stuff (even our cameras and laptops!).. good thing we're not pirates.. that's what you call those who illegally copy movies, right?!!

introducing.. Ting Mayuree (aka: p'Ting)

2008-05-17T09:42:00.000-05:00

The best part of this year in Thailand has been the friendships acquired. Working with 3 Thai CCC staff has been such a privilege as we have been able to learn about life and ministry in Chiang Rai. Because they are such a huge part of my life, I decided to take the time to introduce them separately over a few entries :)
One of my closest friends here, p'Ting has become not only a co-worker, but a sister and confidant.

Unfortunately for her, she was in charge of being our "cru" (teacher) during our Thai lessons. Putting up with all of our excuses and laziness, she patiently taught us the difficult tones, vocabulary and grammar.
Her English proficiency was such a blessing to all of us and she happily served as translator all year.
We have spent many nights together laughing and hanging out until it was too late to go home. Those sleep overs produced a strong friendship that I know will last long after I leave this country.
Once hearing that I was interested in aerobics and fitness, she introduced me to the Thai wonders of outdoor techno aerobics at the university. So fun! I cherish my afternoons spent with her there, sweating in the humidity and singing 80's songs mixed with a techno beat.

Although she is 30, we joke around and act like college roommates, giggling over boys and planning trips around the world.

When my family came, she along with p'Check helped show them around the local market, explaining each strange food item. Afterwards, they graciously taught them how to cook a full Thai meal, even though p'Ting and p'Check did most of the work themselves!
From helping me get jeans hemmed to bringing me a bowl of boiled rice when I was too sick to eat, p'Ting lives her life to serve others. I am so thankful for her friendship and the sisterhood she has extended to me. I will miss her so much next year!

heading South..

2008-05-17T00:09:00.000-05:00

Tuesday marks the beginning of yet another journey to the South of Thailand. After welcoming the American Summer Project team at the Bangkok International Airport, we will spend 3 days acquainting them with Thailand and its customs.

Thrilled to get a chance to serve with students, we will meet a group of 15 students from Chiang Rai and 7 students from Chiang Mai at the bus station on our way to Ranong. The whole group consists of 12 summer project people, 8 stinters, and 22 students, and we are excited and ready to make an impact in Jesus' name!

We will be returning to Ranong, a province greatly hit by the 2004 tsunami, to load onto a boat carrying us to the small Koh Chang (Elephant Island). Here, we will continue the work of building a functioning island village.

The Chiang Rai students are composed of various ages, backgrounds and religious beliefs. As some do not yet believe that Jesus has the power to save them, we are praying that this trip will open their eyes to God's persistent hand in their lives. They all have amazing hearts and the desire to help the Mogan people on Elephant Island, and I hope that they would be blessed beyond measure with this chance to serve.

Please pray specifically for Ying, a young woman with great potential to make an impact in this world, and a dear sweet friend to me. She is going with us not knowing any of the other students, and I think her heart is becoming so open and teachable to spiritual things. Below is a picture of Ying, myself, and Gaow: both students will be attending the service project.

Also please pray that we would be able to reach out and bless the Mogan people on an individual level. Many still do not trust in Jesus, and I think that a group this large could really minister to their hearts.

I believe in a God who can do big things, larger than I could ever imagine. And I know He wants to work mightily in the many lives involved in this trip!

Since we will be working in a remote area, I will be leaving my computer in Chiang Rai to be returned to on May 31st :)

the Thai pedestrian

2008-05-11T08:46:00.000-05:00

A common site in Thailand, elephants surprisingly walk around the streets, their owners leading them around providing food for any bystander to treat the gentle animal (for a small price of course)! One night in Chiang Mai, we were driving back to the Christian's house and happened upon this elephant, (chang), soliciting at a street-side restaurant. Luckily, I had my camera available and was able to snap some shots of Tabitha feeding the elephant. Notice how the elephant is parked like a motorbike! So cute!

my bedroom: THE NOOK!

2008-05-09T09:16:00.000-05:00

Hey hey, while my room was decently clean, I thought I would take a short video to show everyone what it looks like! With 2 real walls, and 2 make-shift ones, this corner has really grown to be a place of comfort. Please don't judge the decor, as it is challenging to find a bedspread and curtains that do not have Hello Kitty or some other unknown animated character on them!! (seriously). Although excited to live in a real room with a door next year, this little niche will always have a place in my heart! :)

IBS

2008-05-09T08:31:00.000-05:00

After MUCH neglecting, I am once again motivated to pursue the joy of blogging :)
The past 2 weeks, I have been in Chiang Mai for IBS, a chance for the Thai CCC staff to receive seminary training. In the mornings, the Thai staff took an Old Testament class, while us Stinters watched a video by Christian Therapist and author Dr. Dan Allender from Mars Hill Graduate school.

During the afternoons, we were able to join the Thais in various seminars including painting and singing instructions, automobile repair, English and computer classes.

Because of limited available housing at the CCC headquarters in Chiang Mai, Tabitha, Amanda and myself were invited to stay with Mike and Judy Christian, long-time staff here in Thailand. It was so fun to escape to a real home everyday and receive some needed R&R! Here is Shana, Tab, myself and Amanda helping out a little bit after dinner one night.

For lunch, we had catered Thai food. Dessert everyday consisted of a new variety of Thai fruit. Nga, a type of fruit bountiful during the rainy season, was served one day. It reminds me of a crazy bouncy ball or child's rubber toy. But it's real. And it's good! Arroy mak (very delicious)! You peel the pink and green skin and chew on the grape-like inside; however, watch out for the pit!

Last weekend, I was able to celebrate my dear friend Leinie's 26th birthday with her in Chiang Mai. It was fun to get out around the big city and eat some great farang (foreigner) food, see a movie, and do some shopping!! Here we are (from left to right): Leins, me, and Tam at Miguels, the only Mexican food place in Chiang Mai.

Happy Homes

2008-03-02T04:18:00.000-06:00

Happy Homes orphanage has given hundreds of children the chance to live. Victims of HIV and AIDS virus, these children were banished from the villages after their parents died. Seen as evil spirits, they were abandoned in the wilderness until rescued by people who value their lives. By providing a home, clothes, and education, Happy Homes has communicated the gospel to these small precious ones. These toddlers now have a hope for their future, knowing that Jesus loves them and has a unique plan for their lives.

Our team was able to take an afternoon to visit one of their homes in Chiang Saen (about 45 min. NE of Chiang Rai) and simply play with the kids. We were able to provide diapers and other needed supplies, but we also came loaded with a ton of hugs, kisses and attention! Here are a few pictures from a few hours with our new little friends.

season for everything

2008-03-02T03:41:00.000-06:00

So, I have been listening to a series of sermons on Ecclesiastes by Matt Chandler. Although I have heard and memorized popular passages, I have never actually studied this book in depth until now.

While nestled into a corner of a Starbucks in Chiang Mai, I began to contemplate the fact that God did create everything for a reason. He does allow things to happen. He has us all experience certain times in our lives where we don't understand the greater purpose. He has set eternity in our hearts, and yet sometimes we are unable to grab hold of a filler for that deep void (Eccl. 3:11).
Matt said something that really struck me, that I hope I will remember for a long time: "Find the things that stir your affections for Christ, and saturate your life with them."
It is easy for me to be that girl sitting in a coffee shop discussing my observations of life. It is easy for me to float from one place to another relinquishing my right to participate in the realities of love, fellowship and death.
But, what it really comes down to, is that God has me here for a season. This season He has created, ordained, and allowed to be a season of toiling, loneliness, doubt, occasional boredom.. so that I could experience a harvest, fellowship, certainty, and fulfillment.
I strongly believe that I will never know the full reason I was brought here for this season, this year. I know that Jesus wanted to get me alone, away from my family, friends, and my comfortable lifestyle, to speak to my heart. He wanted to get me to a place where I would be able to respond at the slightest whisper, instead of Him having to yell to get my attention.
July 2008 will mark the beginning of another season in my life. I'll be returning back to the US to finish up a degree at Baylor. I'll go home to the noise and the distractions that represent a lifetime of struggle for me. Listening to Jesus will transform into a different type of challenge than it is here.
My job then is to accept each season as it comes- embrace it, eat, drink, and take pleasure in my labor because it is God's gift, His purpose for me right now (Eccl. 3:13). He has called us to rejoice when He has given us plenty to eat, drink and harvest. Likewise, He has called us to rejoice when He has given us little to eat, drink and harvest.
There is a season for everything.
No matter what season I am in, I will keep my eyes on my Savior because I am lost without Him.

Happy Bags

2008-02-19T21:13:00.000-06:00

This week Mae Fah Luang students have finals. Since most of our students have their noses deep in the books, we were trying to find ways to continue to reach out to them without being annoying falang (foreigners) tearing them away from their studies.
With suggestions from other teams, we decided upon "happy bags." We filled small plastic baggies with instant coffee packets, candy, a cute pencil, a gospel message and a little card with an encouraging message and our email.
So, today will be spent wandering around campus handing out bags of happiness to book worms. Hopefully these will be a blessing to students as they prepare for finals, and maybe a bag will reach someone who has been searching for a deeper purpose for their life.
Please pray that today will be profitable and that our eyes will be open to those students who desire more than just a little bag of happiness.

'Devotion'

2008-02-19T10:02:00.000-06:00

I've been running, trying to be one who sees
I've been working, salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
That we are redeemed
Unbelieving trusting in creative hands,
I am praying for our world to bow to your plan
And this one thought is unmistakableI take up my cross and follow you Lord

When you stand the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen, and I fall to my knees

Unforgiven, my savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
Undelivered, but it doesn't seem right
Unless I keep my eyes focused on the savior who gave his live
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for

And it's to take up my cross and follow you Lord
I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go.
-Devotion Hillsong United

This is my prayer tonight Father. The cry of my heart. The purpose of my being.

shapiros in Thailand

2008-02-13T07:25:00.000-06:00

My parents and Nana are coming to visit in 3 weeks! March 5-16. It has been almost 7 months since I have seen my family and I could not be more excited! I cannot wait!!

bearing fruit

2008-02-13T05:08:00.000-06:00

I'd like to introduce everyone to a new member of the Kingdom: EVE!

Monday, February 11th my sweet friend Eve believed in Jesus. Not even knowing how to pray or what prayer even is, she bowed down before the Lord and submitted her life to Christ. She has never read the Bible before, nor has she ever been to church. But, she understands that she is broken and needs Jesus. I wish I could be a little bit more like Eve- knowing less and understanding more.

Happy Birthday Eve!!

Sunday afternoon drive

2008-01-29T08:02:00.000-06:00

Once a week, our team tries to spend a few hours of "team time." Setting aside ministry, students, and speaking Thai, these precious hours are for team fun and fellowship. Normally, these evenings have been used to lavish in our "Americanness" by ordering pizza and watching a movie. This particular Sunday, however, offered us the promise of a beautiful day to take a drive to a waterfall. Armed with only a sketchy map, we set off around 3pm to conquer the falls. An hour later, we found ourselves climbing a one-lane dirt trail looping around the side of a mountain. As steep as it was bumpy, the mountain eventually led us not to the falls we expected, but instead to Doi Bo View Point Yafu: Sea of Clouds. Venturing out of the car, we were left breathless, met with a 360 degree view of all of Chiang Rai province. How large our small country city is! Mountains stretched for miles, and distant rice patties glistened in the afternoon sun. After a photo shoot and talks of plans for future camping, our little teal truckwagon trudged back down the mountainside in search of safe roads before sundown.

Thai Sundays have not been favorite days of mine this year. An hour-long team meeting is followed by a 4-hour long church service in Thai. After a very Thai lunch shared with the congregation, we head home around 2pm to keep up with all of life's little demands that is required of a household.

Last Sunday, the Sabbath was reclaimed on a mountaintop. God restored my vision by spreading the "bigger picture" before me. And it was glorious!

seeking- a note from my journal

2008-01-29T06:34:00.000-06:00

...the world has gone after Him... John 12:19

Followers of Jesus abound on every continent. The religious leaders tried to stop Him, but they couldn't because He is God. Jesus is impenetrable. The wisdom of man is foolishness to God. Everyone tried to stop Him from spreading love, peace, and salvation- but they all failed. "The world has gone after Him." Whether we know it or not, we are all seeking salvation. Sometimes we think we're OK, satisfied with our lives. But then something happens. The world crashes over our heads and truth becomes skewed. Our reality is shattered and things or people we valued fall away. That is the moment we realize that something is missing.

We are all seeking salvation.

Some of us try to find it in books, in exercise, through our jobs, in religion, in thoughtful meditation. Those good things repair the problem temporarily, placing a band aid on the wound. One day the band aid won't be enough to cover the wound. We want to scream out of pain over our deep internal suffering. Some, like me, will be angry at themselves for letting themselves get this far, out of frustration at not being able to fix the problem.

The truth is, we are all seeking salvation.

When we recognize that the world is broken-unfair, hurtful and skewed, when we truly understand that life here on earth does not and cannot make sense, we will find it. Salvation. God will whisper gently, so softly that only you can hear. What He says to each individual differs, but to me, He said, "daughter, why do you struggle? You know that I am here. Let me come back inside and fix things for you."

I don't know what it is about the power of God that heals. I don't really even comprehend the power of the cross, what really happened when Jesus died. All I know is that I need it. Even if it takes the rest of my life to figure it out, I will continue to see because I cannot survive this broken world on my own. My independence, my strength, my intelligence will only get me so far. Until I once again reach the point where my pretty little universe crashed down on my head. My world has already crashed once, I won't let it happen again. I can't do it, hold up this great big broken world.

I desire to be saved from it; I am saved from it. What happened on the cross? Jesus conquered everything that I will struggle with on earth- the shame, the sin, mockery, betrayal- everything that tears my world into two.

We are all searching for meaning, for significance, for purpose. We are all seeking salvation.

New

2007-12-13T08:18:00.000-06:00

Unskilled at and equally ignorant of Blogs, this is offically my first. Although I do not need another technological wonder to consume my free time, I am excited to have a place to publish my thoughts. Overseas, there are many everyday occurances that are impossible to capture in a single monthly update letter; therefore, my hopes are that this will provide a venue to release those small, yet significant details that make life a vivid place of discovery in search of the abundant life in the Savior. What an amazing opportunity to share this with you!