all play.no work

The past 6 days have been a blur- little sleep, and lots of fun!!

Jeff came to visit and we took advantage of every minute! First, we pranced around Austin for a couple days, spending time with my cousins and walking around all the quirky streets.

Being the planner that I am, I had compiled a bunch of activities to do in Waco.. most of which didn't work out. I love having opportunities to grow.. especially when it comes to my plans being broken. I used to be controlled by disappointment and God has really shown me ways to take joy in the unknown and embrace the moment.

The time in Waco was purely awesome. Full of tennis, bike rides, Phase 10, Rummikub, a puzzle, cooking, baking, exploring, dog walking, and eating.

After months of talking on the phone, the "face time" was much-needed and special. It was neat to experience life with Jeff as we shared laughter while learning more about each other.

I'm amazed at how God gives second chances and chooses to unexpectedly shower blessings!

Now it's back to reality... a paper to be written. a book to be read.

ohh but what fun it was!

more pictures of all the adventures: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2233306&id=9204387&l=d561d

likable math

2 midterms + 2 days = week-long break for spring & Jeffrey coming to visit

lovely days are ahead!

plain excited

OK so I admit it, I'm completely one of those crazy kids who needs positive reinforcement. I wish it wasn't true, but having things to look forward to seriously motivates me.

The beginning of the semester was a little rough with my 2 best friends gone and graduated and moving far away from Waco. Fortunately, this week one of them is returning to me!!

My dear friend Katie is flying to Texas tomorrow after sitting for the horrendous CPA exam.

I'm so looking forward to drinking coffee with this precious girl and talking about life's little eccentricities. Amidst the uncertainties, it is so good to sit with a friend who simply knows you.

I've named friends like Katie "lifers" because they are the people I want to travel, learn, and grow with for the remainder of our time here on earth. They are the strong, brave and humble who I admire, aspire with, and who God has let me know as a special blessing.

I just cannot wait to hug this girl!!

"to do" Sunday

My to-do list for today before I reconsidered my priorities:

• watch All the President's Men and write a review referring to the journalistic elements presented.
• study 6 short stories in Spanish along with the subjunctive verb tense.
• read Dickens Bleak House by Wednesday.
• rest.
• pray.

Definitely reversing this order right now!

Antioch had an awesome sermon this morning about how to impact the world for Jesus. Jimmy, the pastor, did a great job of empowering us to live fully using our gifts to go out into the community and minister for God's glory. Just think of the movement that could occur if believers embraced their work places and homes as their mission field! It makes so much sense to engage in work with that perspective. I've been thinking of all of the people, parents, and especially the kids that I work with everyday. God has blessed me with the opportunity to instill value in each child I meet, that they might know that they were created by God and deeply loved by Him. I miss so many of those opportunities.. thankfully my Father gives plenty of chances to tell others about Him!

I'm excited to start volunteering as a tutor this week. Until graduation, I'll be going to a low-performing elementary school in the heart of Waco for 4 hours a week to help 2 teachers with reading stations. Ironically, one of the classrooms that needs help is a bilingual 1st grade class and I'll be teaching Spanish. To Mexican children. Yes, I the gringo, who is struggling in my last semester of Baylor's Spanish will be teaching reading and writing.. in Spanish. I love the Lord's sense of humor! Fun stories are destined to develop from this experience!

Have a lovely week!

my dusty life

views of my beautifully chaotic, mismatched and DUSTY life (well, my bedroom)

thoughts that keep you up at night

This lovely Wednesday evening roomie and I headed for the good ol' $1 theater in Waco to relax in front of cheap entertainment.
We chose Seven Pounds with Will Smith.. because it had him in it of course.
Wow.
I haven't cried so hard in... um... I can't even think of a time!
If you haven't seen it, I think you should.

It made me think of the value of life. And opportunities to live remarkably.

I have been thinking about organs for the past hour and how precious it is to be able to donate the gift of life.

This is why it is 1a.m. and I can't fall asleep.

help wanted?

May 2009 marks the date of several events- graduation, moving across the nation, and resettling into my parent's home in Escondido, CA.

This transition holds the promise of many exciting new life ventures, but also the practical fear of the unknown.

Basically, I really need a job. I'm graduating with a BA in English with a Religious studies minor. I have training working at restaurants, stores, and offices, with youth and children programs (both public and private organizations), overseas experience, as well as recent experience working with publications and reporting for mass media.

Since I am graduating at a time of economic instability, I am prepared to face the reality that the ideal job will not appear at my doorstep.

Does anyone know of anyone who is hiring in the San Diego area around May 09, or even this summer? I'm looking for a full-time position with health benefits.

I'm pretty much willing to do anything and work really hard.

Please let me know if you hear of anything!! THANK YOU!

St. Valentine

I've never really been excited about Valentine's Day. At least not since elementary school when everyone handed out those precious cartoon love notes in class. Those were fun.

But, today was a great day!

i miss my family

simple peace

A month of neglect, and this page looks so foreign to me.
I suppose the only way to breech the awkward break is to simply write.

Life in Texas forges on a hint sweeter than before, probably because I know that my time here is drawing to a close. The comfortable walk to and around campus feels shorter this semester, the weather cooler, the local places sadly more familiar. Baylor has been a surprising place of transformation and growth, and therefore a priceless experience (although it did come at a hefty price!).

In conversation with Jesus, I am relearning the power of prayer. I can see how God takes the base and ugly within me to produce something of value with His breath of life. He asks me to surrender everything, to relinquish all control. I have to loosen my grasp every morning. Today I feel His transcending peace wash over my anxious soul. And I now am beginning to understand His gift of peace, which surpasses all comprehension, to guard hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (var. Phil. 4:7).

be still my soul

Be still and know that I am God.. Pslam 46:10

I'm awful at this. I always want to go.. and do.. and go some more. I'm a planner. An organizer.

Lord, why can't I just rest in your presence?!

I'm in Palm Springs with my family for a few days, and as silly as it sounds, I would almost rather be home! Besides looking forward to numerous tennis matches with my dad and brother, I am dreading all of the down time. I want this little vacation to be a beneficial time of solitude, focused on waiting on the Lord for direction.

Holidays have a funny way of illuminating one's singleness, and it bothers me to be discontent over something like that. There are many places in my heart that I thought I had given up to God to let Him fill- only to realize that I held onto those desires more fiercely and quietly than before.

Will the day of rest and contentment ever come? Why won't I let myself be satisfied in Jesus alone?

the happiest holidays

This Christmas has been particularly special because a missionary friend, who I met in Thailand, was able to spend the holidays with my family. In one week, I've dragged Leinie around San Diego trying to accomplish all of the things she's never done before! So far, we've played in the snow in Julian, gone ice skating at Horton Plaza, been to Coronado, explored tide pools in La Jolla, visited with family friends every night, and played every game in my house! Now I am just being still. Waiting on the Lord. And the quiet feels so good!

tomorrow

i will be in california.

so studious

Huck studying for finals with me. Love.

"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day." Alexander Woollcott

As of yesterday at 2pm, class is officially over for the year!
5 finals and then I'm flying back to my family.

This morning, my roommate was encouraged to pursue her walk with Christ from a UPS guy. He even prayed with her before she left the store. How can I love so intentionally like that guy?
Then, I found out that he goes to my church and belongs to the life group that I "didn't have time for" this semester. Man, I really have skewed priorities sometimes.

Tonight I am attending a Christmas performance at my church and I am praying about who to invite. Who do I know that specifically needs to hear from God tonight? I'm nervous about what God will tell me tonight.

Huck and I have been running around the Baylor neighborhood in the evenings to let out some of his exuberant energy and some of my stress. When I'm not yelling at him to keep up or slow down, its been a great time of worship and prayer. Last night I caught myself singing out loud because I believe that no one can hear me if I have ear buds in. Huck probably thinks I'm just a crazy old lady who talks to herself all day!

Now, finishing my third cup of coffee, I'm officially studying for finals...

truth

YOU created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise YOU because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

YOUR works are wonderful...!

Pslam 139:13-14

Sometimes it is easy to forget that God loves me and delights in me. I forget that even when I reject Him, He gently teaches me His consistency. When I tear things apart, He mends them together. In all my brokenness and rejection, He thinks I am beautiful. Because He made me to be in communion with Him, my heart is not complete without His love; and without His power, I can do nothing. Thank you Lord for treasuring me as Your beautiful work!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

I love the smells. I love the cold. I love the annoyingly overplayed music. I love, and think its funny, how everyone who doesn't even know Jesus sings about Him. I love warm clothes. I love giving. I love the food. I love the decorations. I love the lights. I love the fact that people bring trees inside and decorate them (brilliant idea that people should do year round because I love trees!).

I love that families come together and actually spend time with one another. I love trying to make creative and crafty presents even though they never turn out. I love special traditions, even if they are not my own. I love the idea of a jolly man who spends all his time eating cookies and giving things to people. I love ice skating (even in CA). I love walking around the malls even if I don't buy anything.

I love that everyone smiles and says "Merry Christmas" to people they don't know. I love tacky Christmas pajamas. I love the mint M&Ms. I love stocking stuffers. I love the stories behind ornaments. I love seeing friends I haven't seen in years. I love carolling even though I'm not very good at singing. I love the cards with their yearly updates and photos. I love the movies (even the tacky ones).

I just LOVE Christmas. Thank you Jesus for being born, and thank you early Christians for deciding to celebrate the blessed event in winter and to incorporate other crazy pagan traditions!!!

(Photographs courtesy of We Heart It)

laugh a little

This is a video I took on my little digital camera of my cousin Joe and his little friend a couple years ago that never fails to make me laugh! They are totally serious and didn't rehearse or anything! Just watch Joe in the red and you are bound to crack a smile!

yes, I'm obsessed

procrastination..

.. is a phenomenal way to not only publish a few blog entries, but also a chance to sit down and think about all of the things you would RATHER be doing than what you are supposed to do.
For example, instead of writing 2 research papers, working on a presentation, and reading, I began working on a monthly budget for when I graduate. Lately, I've been really burdened with the desire to pay off my students loans as quickly as possible. Their ominous and completely impossible nature has been the source of stress as I wrestle in prayer about my financial future. At a recent luncheon, a close friend encouraged me with a story of a woman in our church who had a larger loan burden than myself, who, after a short year or two of living simply with complete dependence on God, witnessed her debts disappear! Praises!
I realize that if I am to truly be debt-free after a few years, I will have to throw myself into full trust that the Lord will provide for every need. Of course this kind of dependence is necessary as a follower of Jesus, but easy to avoid. Since childhood, I have struggled for independence, and made every decision to walk my own path, however rough or straight at the time. As much as possible, I strive to be self-supporting and cringe at the fact that money is such a necessary evil.
There is a fire inside blazing to constantly experience newness and become the brave adventurer traveling around the world. There are small aspirations and hopes about moving some place exciting after Baylor and jumping into a career. Maybe moving to Austin or San Francisco, or even Chicago- places which have intrigued me since I was young.
And equally present is the bold truth that I am tied down to a debt that cannot be ignored and must be paid. There is my home in San Diego with my loving family who promises to support me and encourage me towards a life free of student loans. I think there would be great joy at moving home besides the financial help. I would be able to spend more time with my mother, who has become my absolute best friend and confidante. I would be closer to the ocean which I love so dearly. I would be able to participate in my little brother's senior year of high school by attending his basketball games, taking pictures of him before homecoming, and just hanging out. These are just a few of many reasons why moving home would be amazing.
But can I ignore the fears? Of getting 'stuck in a rut,' not finding a job using my degree, lacking a solid community of friends who really love and follow Jesus, not meeting anyone to date besides the crazies I went to high school with (silly, but it's a concern!)..
Lies from Satan can be so believable sometimes.
I want to honor God with my life, and I know this decision will play such an important role in the whole direction of my future.
Officially, publicly, and fearfully, I am dedicating the following months to praying for this decision. No matter where I am, I know I am safe in God's hands working within His will, and will remain steadfast in His love. So, I suppose location doesn't really matter. I just want to know already! ahh faith....